Mind your own business.

20 May 2020

This week has been crazy. 

Is it a full moon?

Or are people just tired of being nice and releasing any and all anger upon whomever is in the way??

Sheesh. 

As if life is not difficult enough. 

Me = Working from home, Two year old Tasmanian devil, packing, beagle, attempting to fix minor issues to sell house, son graduating in June (fingers crossed it isn’t cancelled), husband still deployed, bamboo invasion, beagle escape, 48 loads of laundry, trying to improve credit, no family support, lack of sleep, self-care declining. = I am ok though. I got this. Everything will be fine. 

Then— This morning happened....

A loud banging on my front door. 

I rushed to the door ...

Two officers with the initials M.A.C. Embossed across  their chests. 

Fanfuckingtabulous. 

M.A.C. = McKamey Animal Center— basically the pound for people not ‘round these parts. 

I answer the door. 

Apparently— Mr. Officer (have not idea what his name was) was informed about my big fierce and ferocious beagle is sporadically “at large”. (Yes, I am aware. She’s a damn beagle. She’s the smartest dumbass I know. 

If I put her in the back yard which is very large— she climbs the fence and escapes. 

If I attach her to the runner in the front yard she finagles her collar and escapes. She has eaten 2 harnesses. The bark collar makes her bark more. ) 

He proceeded to advise me that my animal must be contained at ALL times — no exceptions. 

Ok, dude. Gotcha. 

He issued me a FORMAL Warning. 

Fair enough. — I get it, he’s doing his job.  No worries. 

What pisses me off is the fact that ONE of my neighbors decided to call M.A.C. 

Instead of letting me know, sending me a message, coming over to talk to me about it ..... or whatnot. 

What a bunch of asshats. 

I took it upon myself to post a message on my neighborhood next-door page— To relieve. A tad bit of frustration. 

(What I posted is below) 

Hello- 

I hope everyone is well, free from the coronavirus and enjoying this beautiful weather.

 I am always friendly, I help my fellow neighbors, I stay positive and I enjoy the majority of our neighborhood and the atmosphere encompassed within. Though, there are a few neighbors that apparently do not not agree with me. 

*This is the only time I will post something negative to you all ( you know who you are)*

Generating nonsense and drama is uncalled for, Unwarranted and frankly— extremely rude. 

I am working from home, I have a 2 year old, a beagle, a senior in high school, a husband deployed and everything else in between. 

Just a quick note to the neighbors that have issues with my home, my dog and /or my yard— 

If you have a negative perception, a foul thing to say or a complaint keep it to yourself or address me personally otherwise keep your opinions to yourself.

1. Sophie:  I received a home visit by McKameys today due to my dog that keeps escaping and complaints they have received.I apologize Sophie ( my dog )She is not a violent dog, nor is she unfriendly. It  may be a nuisance to you all when she escapes the fence, the lead or barks at you when you stroll the neighborhood. She is a beagle. That’s what she does.  If you are willing to install a fence for free to help contain my dog that would be fantastic. Otherwise, I am doing the best that I can under the current circumstances in which all of us are enduring. Whoever called McKameys- As a common courtesy it would have been nice if you addressed it with me directly.  

2. Bamboo: I understand that some of my neighbors have complaints regarding the bamboo growing erratically in my yard. I am diligently cutting it, attempting to kill it and dig it up. I did not plant it. I cannot prevent it from growing. Feel free to assist me if you would like, instead of calling the city and posting complaints. 

During times like this — in the world we live — One would think — Kindness would spread like wildfire not negativity, hatred, gossip and ill-spirited folks. 

We are all human — In case you may have forgotten. 

How about spreading positivity, helping your fellow neighbor or being friendly instead.

What are your thoughts? Am I overreacting?

The feeling of failing as a Milso

The feeling of failing as a Milso

Day 114

12 February 2020

Today is the second day of missing work to fix me. 

Do I feel guilty about this. No. 

Should I? No. 

I wasn’t aware that being a Milso would be so difficult physically, mentally and spiritually. 

Alas, I am aware of the symptoms and recognize I am depressed. 

This is extremely unlike me. 

I’m a positive, helpful, motivating and uplifting woman— normally. 

During the last couple of weeks, I have not been. 

I recognize this. 

I have reached out to militaryonesource.com for additional resources. (I would highly recommend this) [1. You will need a DOD login 2. It’s easy to set up your account. — This is for another blog.] 

I realize that my husband is an amazing human. I have never given him enough credit for everything he did while he was home. (I am so sorry) I took him for granted. (I am sorry) my husband is my rock. I have also realized that being a milso is HARD. 

I’ve been a single mother before. With two children and an ex that was a total horses behind. Struggling financially, trying to balance work and life and staying positive. Being a milso is not like this. Period. 

(Rant 1)

Being a milso is NOT:  

• being a single mother/father/caregiver/lover/sigot
• You are married/or in a serious relationship/partnership ect. 

• Your sigot is away sometimes for an extended period of time. 

This does not make you a single parent.

I’m tired of wives/husbands referring to their deployed service member as being an “absent parent”. Seriously— Absent? 

Your sigot is serving our country for your protection, our country's protection and helping your family continue to live in the land of the free. Shut-Up!

For those of you that say you are a single parent when your sigot is deployed is wrong, disrespectful and just plain rude

• You are not “single”.
  
• You are being a parent while the other parent is serving his/her country. 
  

Shut-Up!

• Yes, it sucks, being the head of household— paying the bills, taking little Jimmy here and taking little Jane there, Making all of the meals, all the while stressing, being anxious and waiting for a call or skype. 

• Yes, the deployed member is not at home—for due cause.

Being a milso with a deployed service spouse/ sigot does not justify adultery, “single parent” drama and or whining. So, for the last time SHUT-UP, Suck it up and get the hell over yourself. (End of rant)

Back to my original post— Pre- Rant: I have recognized that I am depressed — I did not realize that my spouse was such a tremendous part and help of everyday life. I have gotten to the point in this phase of deployment where I am completely overwhelmed. 1.I feel as though my achievements are more like downfalls. (This is the depression speaking)2. My self-care has dropped to a nil3. I’m tired. All the time. 4. The only joy I find is the phone call from my husband. 5. My daughter (she’s a wee one) is acting out. 6. My dog (beagle) needs to be trained. 7. I, at times want to throw in the towel. 8. I do not cook meals anymore, I have being going to fast food restaurants. (Totally unlike me) 9.My eating habits suck. 10. My house looks like a tornado came through and everything I had previously organized out of existence has reappeared. 

Recognizing the issues:These are all common depression symptoms. These are all common symptoms of the deployment cycle. 

This too shall pass. 

My current self-care plan (in progress)1. Contact a LCSW2. Visit my PCP.  3. Visit a DoP4. Take time to take care of me. 5. Purge unneeded items that are cluttering my home to add stability and organization to my chaos. 6. Take a relaxing bath7. Change my sheets8. Do laundry 9. Look for a dog trainer10. Let others help me. 
All in all — I am not failing. 

I am just a beautiful mess in progress. 

I must be positive, do great things and care for myself first as I have others to care for. 

Tell me your thoughts.

Any suggestions?

Seabee Wife. 

☮️💟☯️

Acronyms:

Milso: Military Spouse

DOD: Department of Defense

Sigot: Significant Other

LCSW: Licensed Clinical Social Worker aka Counselor

PCP: Primary Care Physician

DoP: Doctor of Psychiatry