I do not understand.

27 May 2020

Why do people do hardcore drugs?

Heroine

Methamphetamines

Cocaine

Crack 

I really do not understand. 

“To get that high” is one answer I have heard. 

And… 

But why?

Why ruin your total life, your finances, your family and everything in between for “that high”. What is so incredibly terrible in your life that you must succumb to the hard core shit. 

“You just don’t understand”— another thing that has been said to me. 

No, I do not understand. I KNOW I have the propensity to be an ADDICT but I choose not too. 

I have not had a “wonderful” unicorn and glitter life. 

I know what it’s like to be hungry. 

I know what it’s like to be broke. 

I know what it’s like to be without. 

Not once did I turn to drugs. 

Not. ONE. Time. 

So why, do others?

Newsflash: I can’t stand watching people destroy themselves, watching them destroy their family, their being. I hate it.  What can I do?

Nothing. 

I can’t help others that are unwilling to help themselves. I cannot help people that choose the easy path instead of the hard path. 

I will never understand. 

It pisses me off that I will never understand. 

It pisses me off that people do these things. 

It pisses me off to see people like this. 

I will not attempt to understand and I will not accept excuses for the drug addicts. 

You had a choice. 

You could have said “No”

You could have walked away. 

You chose drugs. 

Why?

Im not black nor white — I am me

30 June 2015

I'm not black, I'm not white. I am human.

Written January 19, 2015

I am not black. I am not white. 

I am me. 

In lieu of Martin Luther King, Jr. Day, I have been pondering his infamous speech. 

How would this world be different is he would have survived?

Would we as a nation be friends?

Would we as a nation enjoy helping others?

Would we as a nation live in perfect harmony without racism, discrimination, bullying and hatred?

My simple answer is, No. 

I am not an African American not am I a Mexican American or even an Indian American. 

My ethnicity is considered Caucasian. 

I am considered Caucasian because my skin is lighter than others. 

I have been told being Caucasian reaps many rewards. 

I must have missed that memo. 

I am a "white" middle-aged female. I have been bullied, discriminated against, spat on, turned away and called a plethora of slanderous names such as "trailer trash", "slut", "dumbass", "loser" and "gold digger". 

Were these statements true?

Of course not. 

But the mind is a powerful thing, when a person is repeatedly called such obscene things, they will believe it. 

I was once told, "you hang with dogs, you will get fleas". This statement was a metaphor spoken to me by my mother about childhood friends. 

As I have grown older, I have realized, that not only do we, as citizens of the great United States of America thrive on negativity, hatred and chaos we surround ourselves with it on a daily basis by choice. 

Not one person was born with a hateful persona, not one person was born racist, not one person was born being judgmental. 

All of these behaviors are learned by our surroundings. 

"Can't we all just get along", is a famous quote spoken by Rodney King after a severe beating he received by police officers that are supposed to serve and protect our great nation. 

Can we all just get along? 

The simple answer yet again is, No. 

We, as citizens legal or not of the United States of America cannot get along. 

This has been beaten (so to speak) into our heads from the dawning of our forefathers. 

We have been taught to judge, speak negatively, discriminate and slander those that anger us. 

Why?

Without chaos, there would be euphoria. With euphoria, people would be serene. Serenity would put those that provide protection, freedom and equality out of the job that they currently possess. 

The world thrives on chaos, watch the news for one hour. Then write down all positive things that were observed. 

This great nation of ours saddens me. My children, grandchildren and future generations have hard work ahead of them. 

America is considered "land of the free, home of the brave"

Let's examine this statement. 

Land of the free: 

What in America is free? Education, religious preference, wearing clothing of choice, committing adultery, air, water....

Education is clearly at the top of my list for discussing freedom. 

Yes, we have the right to attend a public school. 

The downside is school uniforms, supplies, lunches, and fees are not free. 

Any child in America can attend a public school as long as the items mentioned above are taken care of. 

 If a child does not have the name brand uniform, school supplies and enough money to eat they will be bullied, called names and frowned upon. God forbid if they have parents that are gay, the child is over weight, under weight, they live in a trailer or buy their clothing from a thrift store. 

Freedom for education is free, but comes with severe consequences to our youth that will be bottled up and released during adulthood or puberty. 

We read and hear of school shootings, suicides of young children due to being bullied and abused children by teachers. 

This amuses our society, we blame the kids, the parents, the school, the administrators ect. This helps us bottle our anger, discrimination and racism until it involves a certain ethnicity, white, black, purple or yellow. It doesn't matter. 

We were taught at a young age to be rebellious, hate those that shun you, defend yourself even if it means punching someone in the face. 

So, no education is not free. 

The choosing of our religion or place of worship should be a place of refuge. But yet again, it is not. 

Yes, we are free to choose a place to worship. As other countries are not as fortunate. 

Yet we are not free to worship aloud or in public places as we may offend others with our beliefs. 

Wasn't this great nation built on God. "In God we trust" is scripted onto what we hold dear to our hearts, our money. 

Imagine entering a church and being looked down upon because you are homeless and the only clothing you have is ratty jeans and a T-shirt smelling of cigarette smoke and day old liquor. 

"Those without sin, cast the first stone". 

Yet, it's a common practice to be judged and looked down upon in church if you look like a bum, say a curse word or refuse to tithe. 

Religion is not free. 

Let's examine the second half of our nations motto: "Home of the brave."

Do I consider us as Americans in the general population to be brave?

My simple answer is, no. 

I'm not speaking of military, police officers or firemen. I am speaking of the general population of America. The "whites", "blacks" "Hispanics" and so on. 

Are we brave?

Think about this statement for a moment. 

Are you being brave by waking up in the morning? Are you brave when you go to work? Are you brave when you go shopping?

No. 

The home of the brave should be categorized to brave individuals such as the white woman teaching English as a second language in "the hood" of A busy metropolis. 

Brave is a person that helps others without any doubt. Paying forward a previous gift given by an unknown person. Braveness is helping a person out of a fire engulfed dwelling or saving a child from drowning by putting yourself in harms way. 

Are we busy Americans as a general population, brave?

No, we are selfish, ego-filled, slanderous, self-righteous hypocrites that want, want, want never taking the time to help others, say thank you or perform any chivalrous action. 

We, as Americans should not be as we have learned to be. 

We do not need to be filled with such anger, greed and selfishness. 

We need to stop stereo-typing what we have been taught as wrong and ask ourselves, why?

I know what it's like to be hungry, broke and helpless. 

I know what it's like to feel as though the end is near. 

I have been stereo-typed, frowned upon and betrayed. 

But, I choose to overcome all stereo types. I will achieve great things without the negativity. I will teach my children to be fishers of men not because I was taught this but because it is right. I will be friends with "the gays", "trailer trash", "whores" and "blacks". 

I will not judge them because I do not know them. I have not walked in their shoes. 

I will help others without expecting something in return. 

I will give to those that need help. 

I will celebrate the life I was given and be proud to be me. 

I am not perfect but it only takes one person to make a difference, it only takes one thought to change the world. 

Blessed be the homeless, blessed be the blacks, blessed be the whites, blessed be the gays, blessed be everyone as we were all someone's baby. 

Those without sin, cast the first stone. 

One day, Martin Luther King, Jr's. Dream will come true and we all shall live in harmony. 

I hope I am alive to see it. 

I will continue to be me. 

What will you do?

Unamerican

As a wife of a deployed service member, when individuals fail to stand for the National Anthem it makes my blood boil. 

The National Anthem of the United States of America has been our anthem since 1931. 

The flag that is spoken of in the anthem is the flag that was flown over Fort McHenry in Baltimore during the war of 1812 between the United States and the United Kingdom. 

On September 14, 1814– The flag was flown over as the battle had ended. 

“Flag was flown over the fort when 5,000 British soldiers and a fleet of 19 ships attacked Baltimore on September 12, 1814. The bombardment turned to Fort McHenry on the evening of September 13, and continuous shelling occurred for 25 hours under heavy rain. When the British ships were unable to pass the fort and penetrate the harbor, the attack was ended, and on the morning of September 14, when the battered flag still flew above the ramparts, it was clear that Fort McHenry remained in American hands.” -Wikipedia

Where in any of this explanation, history or description does this state anything about inequality, police brutality or the like?

This continued protest is 1. An insult to American’s serving in the Armed forces. 2. Disrespectful to every single service member that fights for these protesters VOLUNTARILY. 

3. UnAmerican-  If you have a problem with the National Anthem feel free to leave America. Nobody is making you stay. 

Oh, say can you see by the dawn's early light

What so proudly we hailed at the twilight's last gleaming?

Whose broad stripes and bright stars through the perilous fight,

O'er the ramparts we watched were so gallantly streaming?

And the rocket's red glare, the bombs bursting in air,

Gave proof through the night that our flag was still there.

Oh, say does that star-spangled banner yet wave

O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave?

On the shore, dimly seen through the mists of the deep,

Where the foe's haughty host in dread silence reposes,

What is that which the breeze, o'er the towering steep,

As it fitfully blows, half conceals, half discloses?

Now it catches the gleam of the morning's first beam,

In full glory reflected now shines in the stream:

'Tis the star-spangled banner! Oh long may it wave

O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave!

And where is that band who so vauntingly swore

That the havoc of war and the battle's confusion,

A home and a country should leave us no more!

Their blood has washed out their foul footsteps' pollution.

No refuge could save the hireling and slave

From the terror of flight, or the gloom of the grave:

And the star-spangled banner in triumph doth wave

O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave!

Oh! thus be it ever, when freemen shall stand

Between their loved home and the war's desolation!

Blest with victory and peace, may the heav'n rescued land

Praise the Power that hath made and preserved us a nation.

Then conquer we must, when our cause it is just,

And this be our motto: "In God is our trust."

And the star-spangled banner in triumph shall wave

O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave!

Thoughts?